Wednesday, February 17, 2021

#112. My Name Is Judd

I just watched this harrowing footage of actress Ashley Judd.

Long story short, she was in the Congo on a mission to save the bonobo (an endangered species of chimpanzee).  Not to be confused with the Kingdom Orange Prolapse, Genus Imbecilus Trumpass.

Hey, sometimes it's best to just let a species go extinct.

Anyway, while on an expedition of some sort, she fell and broke her leg in 4 different places.  Over an excruciating period of 55 hours, the locals managed to rescue her and transport her to a "rural hospital."  She's now recovering in South Africa. 

Dedicated to the Big Brown Beaver from which Ashley Judd emerged.


My Name Is Judd
sonofsaf

My name is Judd
Not to be confused with Jack and Jill or Dennis the Menace
My name is Judd and I like to sing
Cause I’m the best country actin’ bitch you’ve ever seen
I’m not a Jew - yep crazy Jew
If food was cash I’d have more flab so that you could abuse
I like to dine, eat all the time
'Cept today my leg was broken’ by a tree made of pine
Injury it hurt like hell
Had to get to a hospital or I wouldn’t be swell
My name is Judd
My name is Judd
But call me an environmentalist celebrity zombie
That stands for Judd, I’m feelin’ old
Older than a wicked witch in the Congo my broom was bought and sold
Went for a ride, back of a bike
I hate the virus except I haven’t had a shot since I had the mumps
Moderna tears
Pharmaceutical masters will absolve my sins and fears
I did The Bird, was a train wreck
So I played the friend of Wesley Crusher on an episode of 'ol Star Trek
My name is Judd

 

My Name Is Mud
Primus

My name is Mud
Not to be confused with Bill or Jack or Pete or Dennis
My name is mud and it's always been
'Cause I'm the most boring sons-a-bitch you've ever seen
I dress in blue-yes navy blue
From head to toe I'm rather drab except my patent shoes
I make 'em shine, well most the time
'Cept today my feet are troddin' on by this friend of mine
Six foot two and rude as hell
I got to get him in the ground before he starts to smell
My name is Mud
My name is Mud,
But call me Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie
That's long for Mud, so I've been told
Told that by this sonsabitch that lies before me bloated blue and cold
I've got my pride, I drink my wine
I'd drink the finest except I haven't earned a dime in several months
Or were it years
The breath on that fat bastard could bring any man to tears
We had our words, a common spat
So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat
My name is Mud


Primus concerts:

7-21-93,  Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA (Lollapalooza)

3-14-98, Beaver Dome, Monaca, PA (Beaver Dome - no joke)

6-22-99, Lollapalooza, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA

5-22-12, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

4-14-15, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

7-30-17, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

11-2-17, Goodyear Theatre, Akron, OH

6-8-18, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this information with actress Ashley Judd, former President Donald J. Trump, and/or Les Claypool (Hey man, if you ever come across this parody, please give it a shot.  Challenging lyrics.  Maybe premiere it during your post-Covid return.  I have another one that's also solid --- American Strife).  And gimme a heads up as well.  I'd like to see the first ever live breakout.  Still very much looking forward to the Farewell to Kings interpretation.



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