#94. Michael Cohen

Ah, the bizarre journey of Trump's attorney Michael Cohen.  Here he is with the Orange Prolapse, flexing their collective muscle.  Powerful, devious, defiant, shameless...

Here he is a year later, testifying before Congress, preparing to go to jail...

Of all the questionably asinine behavior of Trump while he was in office, I'll never quite understand why he got off scot-free regarding the Karen McDougal and Stormy Daniels affairs.  $150,000 and $130,000 respectively.  Keep in mind, the pay-offs, gag order agreements and nondisclosure settlements occurred during his presidency.  

I can't help but think that any other person would have felt a sense of humiliation and resigned in disgrace.  But Trump basically said, "So what?  Fuck 'em all."  And was never really challenged on it.  Why?  Because each member of the White House press pool knew that, at the very least, if they pressed the issue, they'd never get called on again.  Or worst case scenario, they'd be permanently banished from the briefings.

When Trump used to call female minority reporters "nasty" and say "what a nasty question"... I always thought the perfect quickie follow up response would have been... "Uh, President Trump that was a question about policy.  An example of a nasty question would be... Why did you have an extramarital affair with a porn star while your wife was giving birth to your son?  And then pay her in excess of $100,000 to keep her quiet?"  Boom!  Now THAT is a nasty question.

Dedicated to Stormy's bosom.  Can anyone conceptually fathom the dangerous prospect of a Stormy motorboat?

Michael Cohen
sonofsaf

Prison is a dungeon
Listen to the inmates snore
Maybe you should mention
Sucking’ on the cock below

I’m Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen
Lyin’ to you Michael Cohen

Cheatin’ with all your might
Payin’ off the Storm’s not right
J.D. you drinkin’ up a train wreck
And lovin’ number forty five

I’m Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen
And I’ll be
Lyin’ to you Michael Cohen

Said I was a wandering Jew
My cell mate fucked me in the ass and shot his load
I’m not a blow up doll for you
Unless you get it up whip out your dick and show

I hereby do pledge
To live a life of honesty
I’m standin’ on a ledge
My prolapse and profanity

I’m Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen
I'm gonna fuck you
Lyin’ to us Michael Cohen
I’m Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen
Lie unto us Michael Cohen

I’m Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen
I'm gonna fuck you
Lyin’ to us Michael Cohen
I’m Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen
Lie unto us Michael Cohen

I’m Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen
I'm gonna fuck you
Lyin’ to us Michael Cohen
I’m Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen
Lie unto us Michael Cohen

I’m Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen
I'm gonna fuck you
Lyin’ to us Michael Cohen

Danger Zone
Kenny Loggins

Revvin' up your engine
Listen to her howlin' roar
Metal under tension
Beggin' you to touch and go

Highway to the danger zone
Ride into the danger zone

Headin' into twilight
Spreadin' out her wings tonight
She got you jumpin' off the deck
And shovin' into overdrive

Highway to the danger zone
I'll take you
Right into the danger zone

They never say "Hello" to you
Until you get it on the red-line overload
You'll never know what you can do
Until you get it up as high as you can go

Out along the edge
Is always where I burn to be
The further on the edge
The hotter the intensity

Highway to the danger zone
I'm gonna take you
Right into the danger zone
Highway to the danger zone
Ride into the danger zone

Highway to the danger zone
I'm gonna take you
Right into the danger zone
Highway to the danger zone
Ride into the danger zone

Highway to the danger zone
I'm gonna take you
Right into the danger zone
Highway to the danger zone
Ride into the danger zone

Highway to the danger zone
I'm gonna take you
Right into the danger zone 

I've never spoken directly to any of the individuals referenced in this post.  However, I did once speak with a bouncer outside Blush (dahntahn strip bar).  I gave him my infamous business card about human stampede prevention and asked that he give one to Stormy Daniels when she made an appearance at the club during her esteemed "Make America Horny Again" tour of 2018.  But it petered out.  It died on the vine (Tony Soprano).  If anyone's interested, I'm still searching for a spokesperson. 

Please do not share this information with Michael Cohen, former President Donald Trump, Stormy Daniels, Karen McDougal, Blush employees, actors and actresses of HBO's Sopranos, Kenny Loggins, and/or any members of the White House press pool.