Meet Senator Bill Cassidy (R-LA).
He's the douche baguette at the podium, standing next to Senator John Kennedy (not to be confused with the real John Kennedy) and the Orange Prolapse (not to be confused with a red prolapse).
I normally let the parody speak for itself, but Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" has some exceptionally unusual lyrics. In a nutshell, "Bohemian Cassidy" is the story of a gay transvestite, gastroenterologist with a venereal disease who proudly serves the citizens of Louisiana. He takes a hard line approach when it comes to Islamic fundamentalism and the war in Afghanistan. His hobbies include sporting women's underwear and Covid denial. Enjoy!
sonofsaf
Do you just want strife?
Do you feel apathy?
Millions have just died
China virus for you and me
Look into his eyes
Despite all the lies Billy
He just has no joy, closer proximity
Because he never cums, always blows
Is never high, always low
Gotta wear panty hose, women’s frilly panties, for me, just me
Mullah, Afghanistan
Omar Taliban is dead
Mohammed Atta’d, in the head
Mullah, life’s not that fun
But now I’ve Kandahar’d Kabul today
Mullah, ooo
Doctored science you deny
All the rednecks line up, rally, and follow
Comicon, Comicon, gonna leave the earth in tatters
To date, my lines are dumb
Delivered and aligned
Mind is shifting paradigm
Good god heavenly body - I am homo
Gotta fuck you from behind in ways uncouth
Mullah, ooo - (gotta wear panty hose)
Tranny’s never lie
I sometimes think I’m gayer than fags with balls
I see some titties black stilettos on a man
Baguette douche, baguette douche wall to build in Mexico
A pole vault and climbing - illegal immigration me
Go commando, go commando
Go commando, go commando
Go commando falsetto - from Mexico
But you’re not a cowboy don’t try to lasso me
He's just a cowboy from nearby Metairie
Sharing his wife fucking no dignity
Never cum always blow - will you fuck me slow
Bullshit god! No - he will not fuck you slow - fuck him slow
Bullshit god! He will not fuck you slow - fuck him slow
Bullshit god! He will not fuck you slow - fuck him slow
Will not fuck you slow - fuck me slow (never)
Never fuck you slow - fuck him slow
Never fuck me slow - ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -
Oh Mullah Omar, Mullah Omar, Mullah Omar fuck me slow
A diseased butt with some herpes simplex C for me
For me
For me
So you think you can fuck me and cum in my eye
So you think you can suck me and leave me so dry
Oh Hades -won’t pray to the god Hades
Is there any doubt - we just think No Doubt’s kinda queer
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Women’s frilly panties
Anyone can see
Women’s frilly panties - women’s frilly panties on me
Gotta wear any hose…
Bohemian Rhapsody
Queen
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go
A little high, little low
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me
Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooo
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters
Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye everybody - I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, ooo - (anyway the wind blows)
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all
I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me
Gallileo, Gallileo,
Gallileo, Gallileo,
Gallileo Figaro - magnifico
But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come easy go - will you let me go
Bismillah! No - we will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let me go
Will not let you go - let me go (never)
Never let you go - let me go
Never let me go - ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me
For me
For me
So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh baby - can't do this to me baby
Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters - nothing really matters to me
Anyway the wind blows...
Regrettably, the closest I ever came to a Queen concert was watching the movie Bohemian Rhapsody starring Rami Malek. He played the lead role of Freddie Mercury. Although Malek delivered an outstanding performance, it would have been interesting to see what Sacha Baron Cohen would've done with the character. Regardless, it was easily one of the best movies of the past decade. I give it a Roger Ebbert thumbs up. Not to be confused with an "orange fat fuck piece of shit" thumbs up.
Please do not share this information with Senator Bill Cassidy (R-LA0, Senator John Kennedy (R-LA), former president Donald Trump, registered Republican voters from the state of Louisiana, anyone who has served in Afghanistan, anyone who has contracted Covid-19, transvestites, cross dressers, homosexuals, and/or fans of the rock'n'roll band Queen.
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