#96. Snarling Nikki

Out of all the potential 2024 Republican presidential candidates, I think the best bet might be Nikki Haley.  That's assuming she's the only female in the race.  The likely men... Pence, Cruz, Hawley, Kasich, Cotton, etc. would seem to generally cancel each other out. 

(Nikki Haley makes a point while an orange pile of shit smiles and listens attentively)

Interesting that former UN Ambassador Nikki Haley would finally jump off the Trump Train just hours before his impeachment defense team hits the stage.  Label me a cynic but the timing seems quite deliberate.  Go figure.  Politico released a carefully scripted article with some new Haley quotes.  The highlights being...

"We need to acknowledge he let us down.  He went down a path he shouldn't have, and we shouldn't have followed him, and we shouldn't have listened to him. And we can't let that ever happen again."

"I don't think he's going to be in the picture.  I don't think he can. He's fallen so far."

"Never did I think he would spiral out like this.  I don't feel like I know who he is anymore."

Not many politicians who served in the Trump administration were able to retain a smidgen of dignity.  Let alone exit on a high note.  Haley was the exception to the rule.  Who can ever forget Secretary of State Rex Tillerson getting tweet-fired while using the restroom?  I can imagine Trump salivating in the background... "just be sure everyone knows I fired him while he was taking a dump." 

Dedicated to Nimrata Randhawa.  As the 2024 election cycle approaches, I suspect the world will learn of your true name.  The name on your birth certificate.  Hey, straight outta the Orange Prolapse's playbook.  Don't say I didn't warn ya.      

 

Snarling Nikki
sonofsaf

I knew a girl named Nikki
Haley’s an American Indian
Some think she is a little snobby
Raises money like a cash machine
She said, “Eat me when it’s dinnertime“
My kiss was on her list, then I questioned her state of mind

She let me lick her asshole
A tossed salad right below the thighs
The curry and all her spices
Encouraging me to go and try
She said, “All of my holes are so divine“
I have no doubt
That Nikki had lost her mind

Nikki

Tired from all the winning
It left me in so much pain
I can tell you for the world to see
That Donald Trump gave us all a migraine, oh, ah
She loves to take it from behind
Oh, there’s no controversy
If you eat her muff, eat her muff
She will lose her mind
Snarlin’ Nikki, oh

Let me give you a warning
Nikki said a prayer
She prayed to Vishnu and made a sound
‘Bout the Republicans who were scared
They said, "Thank you for this fucked up rhyme“
"Call me up if you haven’t lost your mind”

Damn Nikki, oh-oh-oh
Oh-ah, aw
Oh, ball sack Nikki, ball sack
Your dirty Hindu bitch
Lost her mind, mind, mind, mind, mind
Mind, mind, mind, mind

Darling Nikki
Prince

I knew a girl named Nikki
I guess you could say she was a sex fiend
I met her in a hotel lobby
Masturbating with a magazine
She said, "How'd you like to waste some time?"
And I could not resist when I saw little Nikki grind

She took me to her castle
And I just couldn't believe my eyes
She had so many devices
Everything that money could buy
She said, "Sign your name on the dotted line"
The lights went out
And Nikki started to grind

Nikki

The castle started spinning
Or maybe it was my brain
I can't tell you what she did to me
But me body will never be the same, oh, ah
Her lovin' will kick your behind
Oh, she'll show you no mercy
But she'll sure enough, sure enough
Show you how to grind
Darlin' Nikki, oh

I woke up the next morning
Nikki wasn't there
I looked all over and all I found
Was a phone number on the stairs
It said, "Thank you for a funky time"
"Call me up whenever you wanna grind"

Damn Nikki, oh-oh-oh
Oh-ah, aw
Oh, come back Nikki, come back
Your dirty little Prince
Want's to grind, grind, grind, grind, grind
Grind, grind, grind, grind

Prince concerts:

9-20-97, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

4-14-04, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA (one of my all-time favorite concerts)

Please do not share this information with ex-South Carolina Governor and former UN Ambassador Nikki Haley, former President Donald Trump, former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, former Vice President Mike Pence, Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX), former governor John Kasich (R-OH), Senator Tom Cotton (R-AR), Senator Josh Hawley (R-MO), the staff at Politico, and/or fans of Prince.