#141. The Dogs of Lore

For the love of Dog!  The same Lady Gaga, who's currently in Italy, and formerly hangin' in the Glen-ville/Mound-dale, West Virginia area... well, she just had two of her dogs stolen!  French Bulldogs!  WTF !?!  How fucked up is that?

And not only that, her dedicated dog walker Ryan Fischer got shot in the chest 4 times.  Fortunately, he's alive and recovering in a Los Angeles hospital.  But it does make you kinda wonder about the "quality" of said weapon.  With such a bizarro attack, I just have this weird hunch it may have been a cap gun of some sort.  Seems more like when those two flamboyant street thugs stole Elaine's armoire. 

Anyway, one of the dogs managed to escape.  But the other two are still being held captive.  

 

 

Who's responsible?  Proud Boys?  Oath Keepers?  Hollywood fringe Stephen Miller hippie loyalists?  At this early stage, I honestly have no idea whatsoever.  For all I know Punky Brewster might be Dr. Evil.

So the double Ga is offering a 500K reward for the safe return of her miniaturized dog-men.  No questions asked.  Not really sure how GaX2 plans to distribute the payout.  Sopranos tote bag?  Bitcoin?  Deutshe Bank?  Hmm, I dunno.  But that's neither here nor there.  

So I'm gonna go on the record here.  If Lady Gaga would like my assistance regarding canine arbitration, or doggie separation PTSD, or anything whatsoever... I will step up to the plate!  FREE OF CHARGE!  All I want is the opportunity to tell her about my stampede crap.  After all, she's all about human rights?  Right?

 

 

The Dogs of Lore
sonofsaf

Dogs of lore let’s take the bait
There are laws, that might incriminate
Robbery cannot be condoned
Unless it was Big Al Capone
Dognappers need to go to jail
Life is very fragile
For hard cash, she wants Gustave Koji
The ticketmasters and the dogs will believe

French Bulldogs, these are not mere hounds
French Bulldogs, five hundred grand throw down
French Bulldogs, French Bulldogs

Dog thief entrepeneurs, neanderthals,
Little doggies with big ‘ol balls
Throw turkey bacon, all over the floor
And release the dogs of lore
Not a joke this ain’t no fun
Fido, Israel Palestinian
But the dudes will abide, await the feast
As long as the correct palms prepare to be greased

French Bulldogs, these are not mere hounds
French Bulldogs, five hundred grand throw down
French Bulldogs, French Bulldogs

The dogs of lore are humpin’ their fate
The dogs of lore make our country great
They could die or might not live,
And you will cry and never forgive
They will laugh and call you whore,
It is all for the show, no matter what is in store
The people must choose when mankind is feigned
So Gaga’s here to stay, Gaga goes all the way.

French Bulldogs, these are not mere hounds
French Bulldogs, five hundred grand throw down
French Bulldogs, French Bulldogs

 

The Dogs of War
Pink Floyd

Dogs of war and men of hate
With no cause, we don't discriminate
Discovery is to be disowned
Our currency is flesh and bone
Hell opened up and put on sale
Gather 'round and haggle
For hard cash, we will lie and deceive
Even our masters don't know the web we weave

One world, it's a battleground
One world, and we will smash it down
One world, one world

Invisible transfers, long distance calls,
Hollow laughter in marble halls
Steps have been taken, a silent uproar
Has unleashed the dogs of war
You can't stop what has begun
Signed, sealed, they deliver oblivion
We all have a dark side, to say the least
And dealing in death is the nature of the beast

One world, it's a battleground
One world, and we will smash it down
One world, one world

The dogs of war don't negotiate
The dogs of war won't capitulate,
They will take and you will give,
And you must die so that they may live
You can knock at any door,
But wherever you go, you know they've been there before
Well winners can lose and things can get strained
But whatever you change, you know the dogs remain.

One world, it's a battleground
One world, and we will smash it down
One world, one world

Regrettably, I have never seen Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta a/k/a Woman Goo Goo.

Pink Floyd:

5-26-94, Cleveland Municipal Stadium, Cleveland, OH*
5-29-94, Ohio Stadium, Columbus, OH
5-31-94, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA

Roger Waters:

Roger Waters, 7-3-12, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
Roger Waters, 9-19-17, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Australian Pink Floyd:

12-5-07, Benedum Center, Pittsburgh, PA

Brit Floyd:

8-28-15, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA
4-12-17, Benedum Center, Pittsburgh, PA

* depends on your perspective, long story

Please do not share this information with Lady Gaga, Ryan Fischer, Roger Waters, Pink Floyd fans, and/or dogwalkers and/or dognappers.