#59. Winner

Reality Winner was on Maury Povich desperately searching for her baby daddy.  She tested 4 different men.  I just know one thing.  And it's that the real father had better step up!  

But all the results came back the same.  All negative.  In rapid succession no less:

Bumper, you are NOT the father!

Shoeshine, you are NOT the father!

Mama's Boy, you are NOT the father!

Dogbreath, you are NOT the father!

My point is this.  If you're pursuing a career with a "dark" government acronym (NSA, FBI, CIA, DHS, etc.), it might be a good idea to use a more boring name like Jeff Smith or Mary Brown.  Something less inclined to draw maximum attention.  Steer clear of names like Reality Winner.  Or it just might be you who ends up decked out in orange "for a life in a town."  As opposed "to a night on the town." 

 

 

Orange?!?!  I'm not talkin' 'bout the Orange Prolapse awaiting his second impeachment trial.  I'm talkin' 'bout the ordinary Josephines.  Those who always end up taking the fall.

 

Truth be told, I know little about her case.  But Malcolm Nance, whose opinion I have the utmost respect for, had plenty of issues with her judgement, behavior and activities.  (She leaked classified information about the alleged Russian hacking of U.S. voter roles from the 2016 presidential election).  Hmm, not a particularly good time to speak one's mind.  She pleaded guilty in 2017 and got a 5 year sentence.

 

Let's dedicate this parody to the exact opposite of the Reality Winners... the Fictional Losers.

By the way, if you ever wondered what a real rock concert looks and sounds like.  Put your clicks on, public property!

 

 

Winner
sonofsaf

Winner lies for, lies beyond the norm
She doesn’t eat a Slim Jim
She doesn’t blow a wad, when watching porn
Did ya, did ya hear it, did ya throw them under
Trump despising pork and sauerkraut
Could you, could you eat shit, could you
Send you volumes dark to ponder
Stop advising tired of the doubt

Paradise roll dice and spy by the hand of the
Winner!
Winner!
Winner!
Winner!


Her snatch of furry
She wires cash in offshore ways
Top secret troubled talking
Downloaded files time again
She’s seen better days
Sentenced for five years so lock the door
Don’t know when to say when making too much sense
Spilling her guts is not the norm

Ham and Spam you all will feed at the can of the
Winner!
Winner!
Winner!
Winner!

Flawed by the levels, flawed by the levels
Damn bureaucracy
Flawed by the levels, flawed by the levels
Damn the bureaucracy

Do not fear Republicans from the far right
Can’t you see their love is toiling vetting all that’s white

Months and years now weeping, locked down
War ends up with dead, and shock and awe abounds
The Winner they fear, shedding a tear
And the yeast infection up and down

Can't you see Republicans with their shit stains
Do not fear their love is toiling vetting all that’s white

Winner, Winner, Winner, Winner!
Winner!
Winner!
Winner!
Winner!

Paradise roll dice and spy by the hand of the worst
Demand you jack and feed off Reality Winner!

Sinner
Judas Priest

Sinner rider, rides in with the storm
The devil rides beside him
The devil is his god, God help you mourn
Do you, do you hear it, do you hear the thunder
Deafen every living thing about
Can you, can you see it, can you
See the mountains darken yonder
Black sun rising, time is running out


Sacrifice to vice or die by the hand of the
Sinner!
Sinner!
Sinner!
Sinner!



His steed of fury,
Eyes of fire and mane ablaze
Demonic vultures stalking
Drawn by the smell of war and pain
He roams the star ways
Searching for the carcasses of war
But if it's hungry then its very presence
Disrupts the calm into the storm

Curse and damn you all you'll fall by the hand of the
Sinner!
Sinner!
Sinner!
Sinner!

God of the Devils, God of the Devils
Won't you help them pray
God of the Devils, God of the Devils
Is there no other way

Can't you hear their souls calling out in their plight
Can't you see their blood is boiling setting them alight

Thirty years now sleeping, so sound
War raises its head, and looks slowly around
The Sinner is near, sensing the fear
And the beast will start movin' around

Can't you see their souls calling out in their brain
Can't you hear their blood is boiling setting them alight

Sinner, Sinner, Sinner, Sinner!
Sinner!
Sinner!
Sinner!
Sinner!

Sacrifice to vice or die by the hand of the curse
And damn you all you fall by the hand of the sinner!

 

 

I've seen Judas Priest only once.  How pathetic is that?

 

8-28-04, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (OzzFest)

Please do not share this information with Reality Winner, Maury Povich, Malcolm Nance, Rob Halford, Judas Priest fans, former President Donald Trump, and/or anyone employed by a government acronym.