Some background info on U.S. Senate candidate and political newcomer Jake Lang.
On January 6, 2021, Jake Lang stormed the U.S. Capitol building armed with an aluminum baseball bat and a riot shield, which prosecutors say he used to beat officers who were guarding the Capitol entrance.
The day after the insurrection, the then-25-year-old took to social media to call the attack a “war” and proclaim himself “the leader of Liberty,” while mistakenly tagging his location as the White House.
“Arrest me. You are on the wrong side of history,” he dared.
Lang
(whose real name is Edward Jacob Lang) was, in fact, arrested later
that month on multiple charges of assaulting law enforcement officers,
as well as felony charges of civil disorder and obstruction of an
official proceeding. He sat in jail for nearly four years awaiting (and
delaying) his trial, during which he hosted a weekly podcast for a
conservative conspiracy website and dubbed himself a “political
prisoner.” In late January of this year, President Donald Trump pardoned
him and hundreds of other violent January 6 rioters with the stroke of a
pen.
Now back home, Lang has plans to return to the U.S. Capitol — this time, as a lawmaker.
He
says he decided to run for office in Florida instead of his native New
York because he’s “much more accepted here” than in his home state —
calling Florida “the most MAGA state in the country” and “the new
frontier.”
Lang recalls being welcomed with open arms upon his arrival in the Sunshine State post-incarceration.
I refuse to contribute to the Lang campaign. However, I will honor his political perseverance with the coveted Orange Prolapse Award.
16th St. Bridge heading into the Strip District. |
Another T-Dump on the 16th St. Bridge. |
Trumpin' 'n Dumpin'... all day long.
In other news, Liverpool defeated Tottenham 5-1 and just won the English Premier League.
Senator Jake Lang
sonofsaf
Ivanka Kushner’s a Jew, oh oh oh oh
Twat and rack’s a stormy delight
Basket case of an ass
With a devout cunt. oh oh oh oh
Clownish crap is alright
An Orange Prolapse stain
He’s Senator Jake Lang
Pull down your pants Stormy D.’s on patrol, oh oh oh oh
Small bone, is tiny for the Jewish Proud Girls
A Mighty Mouse with gold toilets to sell, oh oh oh oh
McDonald’s he tries with a Big Mac and fries
Fuckin’ Orange Prolapse stain
He’s Senator Jake Lang
Trump Towers ain’t free
His son-in-law’s a fuckin’ Jew
A kosher disease
Enemy twat is ugly too
The big lie was a plan that’s so gay
Blowing a creep from the start
Trump will be suin’ his way
Artificial heart
Ivanka Kushner’s a Jew, oh oh oh oh
She is the crappiest gay daughter-wife
Dyke’s a fake shitty asshole from the start, oh oh oh oh
She’s the daughter-wife served up a la carte
Clown’s an Orange Prolapse stain
He’s Senator Jake Lang
Back On The Chain Gang
The Pretenders
I found a picture of you, oh oh oh oh
What hijacked my world that night
To a place in the past
We've been cast out of? oh oh oh oh
Now we're back in the fight
We're back on the train
Oh, back on the chain gang
A circumstance beyond our control, oh oh oh oh
The phone, the tv and the news of the world
Got in the house like a pigeon from hell, oh oh oh oh
Threw sand in our eyes and descended like flies
Put us back on the train
Oh, back on the chain gang
The powers that be
That force us to live like we do
Bring me to my knees
When I see what they've done to you
But I'll die as I stand here today
Knowing that deep in my heart
They'll fall to ruin one day
For making us part
I found a picture of you, oh oh oh oh
Those were the happiest days of my life
Like a break in the battle was your part, oh oh oh oh
In the wretched life of a lonely heart
Now we're back on the train
Oh, back on the chain gang
Such a heartfelt tune. Never gets old.
From 1980 to the present, The Pretenders have played the Burgh a grand total of 10 times. Only saw 'em once.
The Pretenders:
8-18-23, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA (opened for Guns 'n Roses)