The Orange Prolapse recently nominated Newt Gingrich's wife Callista to be our next Ambassador to Switzerland.
Watch out! Her time is cuming.
I can't believe she has a degree from Luther College straight outta Decorah, Iowa!
Never heard of Luther. Never heard of Decorah.
Taking into account Newt and Donald's penchant for extramarital affairs, you gotta love how Trump mentions that "She's HAPPILY married to the Great Newt Gingrich..."
There's some eerie parallels goin' on. You know, with the jimmies and sprinkles on Trump Dumps. And Newt & Callista getting glitter-bombed at a book signing. Butt that... was a patriotic dusting. D-g bless.
Callista Is Gay
sonofsaf
Callista is gay evangelicals pray
Gonna stop the steal takin’ votes away
Labia lips are drinkin’ Bud Light
Coup d’etat is a crime, from the MAGA right
Forty-five’s a cunt butt the anal’s fun
He’s Trumpin’ n’ Dumpin that son-of-a-gun
Trump’s a piece of shit Orange Prolapse display
Tiny mushroom thrill on a Tahoe vacay
Converted fuck yeah, Ivanka Kushner’s a Jew
And maybe her daddy will fuck her too
McDonald’s is fine
A Trumper’s so unkind
Toilet of gold bring on the crappin’
Jerkin’ outta line
One helluva good time
‘Cause a golden toilet’s for his crappin’
McDonald’s is fine, a Trumper’s so unkind
Toilet of gold bring on the crappin’
Jerkin’ outta line
One helluva good time
‘cause a golden toilet’s for his crappin’
Callista is gay butt it’s not okay
Giving her the chills when (a) dildo’s in play
And MTG’s fuckin’ obscene
Because all the while for a pie of cream
First Lady fuck’s a dumbshit cunt
Her pussy unfurls as it opens up
Stormy’s triple thirty sixers are some hella big titties
Glory hole’s really fucked up jism for you and me
Fuckin’ jag-off why you gonna extol
Always outta line and a big shit show
McDonald’s is fine
A Trumper’s so unkind
Toilet of gold bring on the crappin’
Jerkin’ outta line
One helluva good time
‘Cause a golden toilet’s for his crappin’
McDonald’s is fine, a Trumper’s so unkind
Toilet of gold bring on the crappin’
Jerkin’ outta line
One helluva good time
‘cause a golden toilet’s for his crappin’
Trump’s a Down syndrome Big Mac gourmet
Tartar and lard with a fishy filet
Tiny mushroom blown that pays the rent
Value meals resultin’ in a stent
McDonald’s is fine
A Trumper’s so unkind
Toilet of gold bring on the crappin’
Jerkin’ outta line
One helluva good time
‘cause a golden toilet’s for his crappin’
McDonald’s is fine, a Trumper’s so unkind
Toilet of gold bring on the crappin’
Jerkin’ outta line
One helluva good time
‘cause a golden toilet’s for his crappin’
Labia lips are drinkin’ Bud Light
Coup d’etat is a crime, from the MAGA right
Callista is gay, Callista is gay
Callista is gay evangelicals pray
McDonald’s is fine
A Trumper’s so unkind
Toilet of gold bring on the crappin’
Jerkin’ outta line
One helluva good time
‘cause a golden toilet’s for his crappin’
Barista By Day
Anuhea
Barista by day and I'm trying to say
Gotta keep it real like every day
Brewing that drip from the morning light
I gotta be on time, gotta be polite
99 problems but a twitch ain't one
Keep slinging that coffee bean 7 to 1
I'll pick up that shift on a holiday
Just drop me a dollar bill after you pay
Get your fix of the drip that I'll provide for you
But baby that's not all that I can do
Waiting in a line
You're never gonna find
The way you gotta make it happen
Working in a grind
But I don't really mind
'cause I know I'm gonna make it happen
Waiting in a line you're never gonna find
The way you gotta make it happpen
Working in a grind
But I don't really mind
'cause I know I'm gonna make it happen
Barista by day but I'm so risque
Gotta catch my thrills on the clock all day
I'm that girl that's dressed in green
With a fake fake smile just working that steam
When you act dumb my mouth is shut
I'm just that girl giving you your cup
Of a triple venti mocha frappe extra whip skinny
Latte with a double cup sprinkled with vanilli
Top it all off with a cinnamon roll
That's $6.99 and it's all to go
Waiting in a line
You're never gonna find
The way you gotta make it happen
Working in a grind
But I don't really mind
'cause I know I'm gonna make it happen
Waiting in a line you're never gonna find
The way you gotta make it happen
Working in a grind
But I don't really mind
'cause I know I'm gonna make it happen
So I make great foam in your latte
Forget to charge for that extra shot, eh?
Living off the dough that you just spent
Chamomile callouses pay my rent
Waiting in a line
You're never gonna find
The way you gotta make it happen
Working in a grind
But I don't really mind
'cause I know I'm gonna make it happen
Waiting in a line you're never gonna find
The way you gotta make it happen
Working in a grind
But I don't really mind
'cause I know I'm gonna make it happen
Brewing that drip from the morning light
I gotta be on time, gotta be polite
Barista by day, barista by day
Barista by day and I'm trying to say
Waiting in a line
You're never gonna find
The way you gotta make it happen
Working in a grind
But I don't really mind
'cause I know I'm gonna make it happen
Lengthy parody. A little tedious. But ultimately a minimal success. One day... I might listen to the actual song.
Anuhea has never performed in the Burgh. She'd make a fine public spokeswoman for the Starbuckers who are currently on strike.
The Big Lie 100: (#2072)
#2566. Vance (Chance — Big Country)
#2567. Donald Trump Ain’t Devout (That’s What It’s All About — Brooks And Dunn)
#2568. Royce White (Love Bites — Judas Priest)