#3248. The Sound Of Jimmies

For this parody, I garnered the requisite inspiration from my home state.  

Wild & Wonderful West Virginia.  Specifically the Whites.

You wanna hear the Boone County mating call?

Hey!  Every cylindrical container sounds better when you shake it.

Before!

 

 

 

And wayyy... before.

 The University of Pitt baseball team plays Penn State tomorrow at PNC Park. 

The Sound Of Jimmies
sonofsaf

Donald Trump he wears Depends
His mushroom cock is not your friend
Shit’s in denial butthole seeping
Dirty deeds Uncle Tom is peeping
Liposuction for his gock is not insane
Prolapse stains
It is the sound of jimmies

A pie of cream and tiny bone
Donald shits upon a throne
Twas’ a shitshow and menstrual cramp
Ivanka Kushner is a kosher tramp
Insurrection crap from the ass of the MAGA right
Proud Boys are white
He fucked dahntahn with jimmies

A Tahoe Lake ‘cause lust’s a flaw
That Stormy Daniels, was a whore
Anal mocking his hole reeking  
Anal fearing but still fisting
Stormy Daniels thong’s her choice of what to wear
Pubic haired
Superb the sound of jimmies

School of Harvard’s a shitshow
Violence as an answer blows
Donald’s turd son-in-law’s a Jew
Ivanka’s twat is Hebrew too
Butt the turds in golden toilets smell
As Donald J. Trump sells orange jimmies

Forty-Seven he got laid
Stormy Daniels she got paid
And big lies no doubt are harming
With his turds fat and alarming
Trump is inbred, big turds from his asshole
Trump’s shittin’ in the golden stalls
And building more walls
And sprinkled with the sound of jimmies

 

The Sound Of Silence
Paul Simon

Hello, darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a streetlamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
No one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools," said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence."

 

A song for the ages... and a parody that rages.

From 1965 to 2018, Paul Simon played the Burgh a grand total of 8 times.

Paul Simon:

7-18-99, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA

7-8-01, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

6-16-04, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA (w/ Art Garfunkel)

9-7-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

The Big Lie 100: (#2367)

#3000.  Kash (Stash --- Phish)

#3001.  Keith Sonderling (Jesus Is King --- Selah)

#3002.  Bannon (Cannon --- Jack White)

#3003.  Kash (Trash --- New York Dolls)

#3004.  Ashley Moody (Call Of Duty --- Anvil)

#3005.  Kash (Trash --- Silverchair)

#3006.  TikTok (Bangkok --- Destroyer)

#3007.  Michael Vrabel (God Is Able --- Planetshakers)

#3008.  Kristi Lynn Noem (Autumn In Rome --- Tony Bennett)

#3009.  Noem (Rome --- Destroyer)

#3010.  Mulligan's Big Lie (Mulligan's Big Lie --- Lin Manuel Miranda)

#3011.  Kristi Lynn Noem (Under A Dome --- Of Monsters And Men)

#3012.  Hegseth (Macbeth --- Frank Turner & Jon Snodgrass)

#3013.  Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Ratt)

#3014.  Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Harem Scarem)

#3015.  Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Paula Cole)

#3016.  Kristi Noem (Heart Of Rome --- Elvis Presley)

#3017.  Ivanka's A Cunt (Memories Of Love --- Chicago)

#3018.  The J-6 Hostages (Song For The Hostages --- Five For Fighting)

#3019.  Stormy D.'s A Cunt (Memory Of Love --- Elton John)

#3020.  Jeff Van Drew (Thru And Thru --- Rolling Stones)

#3021.  Jeff Van Drew (Not For You --- Pearl Jam)

#3022.  Daniel Ball (Alcohol --- Butthole Surfers)

#3023.  Oath Keeper Rhodes (So Many Roads --- Grateful Dead)

#3024.  Pardon (Garden --- Pearl Jam)

#3025.  Noem Crust (Dome Rust --- Guided by Voices)

#3026.  Trump Dumpin' Rage (The Golden Age --- Cracker)

#3027.  Trumpin' 'n Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Chinchilla)

#3028.  Proud Boys (Bad Boys --- Inner Circle)

#3029.  Guy Reffitt (Forget It --- Rodriguez)

#3030.  Reffitt (Bullshit --- Guttermouth)

#3031.  Oath Keeper Rhodes (So Many Roads --- Joe Bonamassa)

#3032.  Trump Forever (Come Together --- Soundgarden)

#3033.  Trump Trump Trump (Dump Dump Dump --- Urge Overkill)

#3034.  Donald J. Trump's A Clown (Who Can It Be Now --- Men At Work)

#3035.  Proud Boys Will Defile (Bad Boys Running Wild --- Scorpions)

#3036.  Proud Boys (Bad Boys --- Whitesnake)

#3037.  Hegseth (Last Breath --- Low)

#3038.  Trump Wants A Tariff (I Shot The Sheriff --- Bob Marley & The Wailers)

#3039.  A Tariff (The Sheriff --- The Strumbellas)

#3040.  Andrew Kloster (Great Imposter --- The Fleetwoods)

#3041.  Go To Hell / Benjamin Black (Morning Bell / Amnesiac --- Radiohead)

#3042.  Netanyahu (Who's Cheatin' Who --- Alan Jackson)

#3043.  Trump's A Cunt (For Your Love --- The Yardbirds)

#3044.  Brendan Carr (Lucky Star --- Madonna)

#3045.  Marocco's Load (Tobacco Road --- David Lee Roth)

#3046.  Brendan Carr (lucky star --- Nessa Barrett)

#3047.  Noem (Rome --- Yeasayer)

#3048.  Brendan Carr (Superstar --- Social Distortion)

#3049.  FCC's Brendan Carr (You Are My Lucky Star --- Gene Kelly & Debbie Reynolds)

#3050. McClain (Insane --- The Hives)

#3051.  Paula White (Fly By Night --- Rush)

#3052.  Paula White (Candlelight --- The Mystery Writers)

#3053.  Paula White (Dynamite --- Son Volt)

#3054.  Elon Musk's DOGE (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#3055.  Unanue (Day By Day --- The Hooters)

#3056.  Finland's Howard Brodie (On Top Of Old Smoky --- Burl Ives)

#3057.  Elon's DOGE (Vintage Clothes --- Paul McCartney)

#3058.  Paula White (Parasite --- Kiss)

#3059.  Brendan Carr (Caviar --- Wavves)

#3060.  Taake's Fuckin' Gay (Rocky Mountain Way --- Joe Walsh)

#3061.  Brendan Carr (lucky star --- Ricky Nelson)

#3062.  Whore Paula White's A Cunt (Your Inner Light Is Love --- Right Said Fred)

#3063.  The Biggest Lie (I Wonder Why --- Sha Na Na)

#3064.  Nancy Mace (Damage Case --- Motorhead)

#3065.  Emil Bove (Hello Hooray --- Alice Cooper)

#3066.  Paula White (Dynamite --- Mr. Kitty)

#3067.  Paula White (Dynamite --- Sly & The Family Stone)

#3068.  Kellogg (Black Dog --- Led Zeppelin)

#3069.  Kellogg (Hot Dog --- Elvis Presley)

#3070.  JD Vance (Take A Chance --- Olivia Newton-John & John Travolta)

#3071.  Kellogg (Hot Dog --- They Might Be Giants)

#3072.  JD Vance (Second Chance --- Lemonheads)

#3073.  Trance (Vance --- Screeching Weasel)

#3074.  JD Vance (Second Chance --- Don Williams)

#3075.  Kellogg (Hot Dog --- Mark Knopfler)

#3076.  JD Vance (If By Chance --- Patti LaBelle)

#3077.  Edward Robert Martin (Fightin' Fuckin' Fartin' --- Wheeler Walker Jr.)

#3078.  Vance (Dance --- Jesus Culture)

#3079.  Tucker (Sucker --- Marcus King)

#3080.  Congressman Hern's Pink Slime (If I Could Turn Back Time --- Cher)

#3081.  Turn! Turn! Turn!  (Hern! Hern! Hern! --- The Byrds)

#3082.  Hern's A Fuckin' Cunt (Turn My Back On Love --- Triumph)

#3083.  Hern's A Fuckin' Cunt (Turn It Into Love --- Kylie Minogue)

#3084.  Terry Cole (Rock And Roll --- Led Zeppelin)

#3085.  Tenney's A Piece Of Shit (Any Way You Want It --- The Ramones)

#3086.  Jack Posobiec (Right Side Of My Neck --- Faye Webster)

#3087.  JD Vance (Song And Dance --- Buck Owens)

#3088.  JD Vance (If By Chance --- Dean Martin)

#3089.  JD Vance (Take A Chance --- Chicago)

#3090.  Usha (Russia --- Tori Amos)

#3091.  JD Vance (Half A Chance --- Carly Simon)

#3092.  JD Vance (Half A Chance --- Vince Gill)

#3093.  Schimel Plan (Simple Man --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

#3094.  Schimel (Simple --- Phish)

#3095.  Caine (Rain --- Planetshakers)

#3096.  Caine (Rain --- Skinny Puppy)

#3097.  Caine (Rain --- Rusted Root)

#3098.  Caine (Rain --- Grateful Dead)

#3099.  Dan Bongino (Love Casino --- Lenny Kravitz)

#3100.  Bongino (Casino --- Gleemer)

#3101.   Trumpin' Dumpin' Ass: He's Always Shittin' --- (Living Loving: She's Just A Woman --- Led Zeppelin)

#3102.  JD Vance (Song And Dance --- The Sound)

#3103.  Amy Gleason (Feels Like Treason --- Magnum)

#3104.  Jimmy Fuckin' Comer (Gary's Got A Boner --- The Replacements)

#3105.  Gleason (Reason --- The Cranberries)

#3106.  The Donald's Gay (This Is The Day --- The The)

#3107.  Dan Caine (Cocaine -- Eric Clapton)

#3108.  Ryan Woods (Damaged Goods --- Stabbing Westward)

#3109.  Cincinnati's Charlie Hustle (Colostomy Jigsaw Puzzle --- Cattle Decapitation)

#3110.  Charlie Hustle (Picture Puzzle --- Shirley Bassey)

#3111.  Marshall's Cock (Martial Law --- Ghostmane)

#3112.  Marshall's Cock (Martial Law --- Ookay)

#3113.  Floyd Joy Mayweather (Let's Stay Together --- Al Green)

#3114.  Brian Glenn (Now And Then --- The Beatles)

#3115.  Gleason Is A Cunt (Seasons In The Sun --- Terry Jacks)

#3116.  John Ratcliffe Baby (Take A Whiff On Me --- The Byrds)

#3117.  Hey Ukraine (Hey Nineteen --- Steely Dan)

#3118.  Hayden Haynes (Wooden Planes --- Art Garfunkel)

#3119.  Haynes (Chains --- Iggy Pop)

#3120.  Stormy's Tits Are Fake (When The Levee Breaks --- Led Zeppelin)

#3121.  Brian Glenn (Born Again --- Supergrass)

#3122.  Daughter-Wife (Afterlife --- Illenium)

#3123.  Dan Caine (The Chain --- Fleetwood Mac)

#3124.  Dan Bongino's Shitty (Cappuccino City --- Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever)

#3125.  Paula White (Parasite -- Volbeat)

#3126.  Dan Caine (Queen Jane --- Grateful Dead)

#3127.  Paula White (Dynamite --- Scorpions)

#3128.  Fuck JD Vance (Just One More Chance --- Dean Martin)

#3129.  Toilet Stall (Free For All --- Ted Nugent)

#3130.  Anal Hegseth (Angel Of Death --- Slayer)

#3131.  Bill Bazzi (Bumblebee --- Ween)

#3132.  White Cunt Of Bill Bazzi (Flight Of The Bumblebee --- The Alchemist)

#3133.  Clowns Of MAGA (South Of Heaven --- Slayer)

#3134.  Horseface (Racehorse --- Kelly Clarkson)

#3135.  Steak 'n Shake (Rattlesnake --- Live)

#3136.  Musk (Dusk --- Carbon Leaf)

#3137.  Cybertruck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC)

#3138.  Elon's Cybertruck (Running Out Of Luck --- Mick Jagger)

#3139.  Cybertruck (What The Fuck --- Bill Wurtz)

#3140.  Cybertruck (What The Fuck --- Ryan Adams)

#3141.  Pete Hegseth (The Black Death --- Something Rotten! Original Broadway Soundtrack)

#3142.  Cybertruck (Out Of Luck --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#3143.  Trumpin' Dumpin' (Waken Baken --- Wiz Khalifa)

#3144.  Newt Gingrich (Eat The Rich --- Motorhead)

#3145.  The Noeming (The Gloaming --- Radiohead)

#3146.  Donald J. Trump (Here Comes The Grump --- Adam Ant)

#3147.  Donald Trump (Do The Rump --- The Black Keys)

#3148.  Flood (Blood --- Pearl Jam)

#3149.  Nvidia (Albania --- Coach from Cheers TV Sitcom)

#3150.  Eichorn (Stillborn --- Black Label Society)

#3151.  Michael Flood (Raining Blood)

#3152.  Flood Is A Whore (Blood On The Floor --- Fleetwood Mac)

#3153.  Cybertruck (Semi Truck --- Teenage Bottlerocket)

#3154.  Summer Lee (Summer Breeze --- Seals & Croft)

#3155.  Tom Homan (My Omen --- Electric Guest)

#3156.  Pete Hegseth (Final Death --- Death Angel)

#3157.  Cybertruck (I Will Truck --- Dirty Projectors)

#3158.  Liberation Day (Celebration Day --- Led Zeppelin)

#3159.  Easter Egg Roll (Head Like A Hole --- Nine Inch Nails)

#3160.  Flood (Blood --- Illenium & Foy Vance)

#3161.  Cybertruck (Chicken Truck --- Aaron Tippin)

#3162.  Brandon Beach (Up The Beach --- Jane's Addicition)

#3163.  Michael John Flood: Piece Of Shit --- (If You Want Blood: You Got It --- AC/DC)

#3164.  Signalgate (It's Too Late --- Carole King)

#3165.  Signalgate (Twist Of Fate --- Olivia Newton-John)

#3166.  Brnovich (Wicked Witch --- Beatsteaks)

#3167.  Brnovich (Virgin Witch --- Rob Zombie)

#3168.  Mark Brnovich (Son Of A Bitch --- EELS)

#3169.  Brnovich (Crazy Bitch --- Buckcherry)

#3170.  Sara A. Carter (Women Are Smarter --- Grateful Dead)

#3171.  Signalgate (Celebrate ---Simple Minds)

#3172.  Signalgate (Celebrate --- Don Moen)

#3173.  Signalgate (Celebrate --- Earth, Wind, And Fire)

#3174.  Signalgate (Twist Of Fate --- Destruction)

#3175.  Trumpin' Dumpin' (Gets Ya Pumpin' --- Bob Seger)

#3176.  Brad D. Schimel (Jack Be Nimble --- James Orchard Halliwell)

#3177.  Schimel Fuck (Cymbal Rush --- Thom Yorke)

#3178.  Flood Is A Fucking Whore (Blood On The Valley Whore --- Soundgarden)

#3179.  Liberation (Medication --- Son Volt)

#3180.  Liberation (Celebration --- Kool & The Gang)

#3181.  Liberation Song (Celebration Song --- Steve Miller Band)

#3182.  Donald's Liberation (Day Of Celebration --- Santana)

#3183.  Liberation (Celebration --- Krokus)

#3184.  Liberation Shitshow (Celebration Intro --- Christina Aguilera)

#3185.  Proud Boy (Rough Boy --- ZZ Top)

#3186.  Flood  Fucker (Bloodsucker --- Agnostic Front)

#3187.  Perry Greene's A Queer (Halloween All Year --- The Orwells)

#3188.  Brad Schimel (Ghost Symbol --- Zero 7)

#3189.  Michael Flood (Damn The Flood --- Black Label Society)

#3190.  Michael Flood (Theme From Flood --- They Might Be Giants)

#3191.  Robert Kennedy's Measles (The Lesser Of Two Evils --- Gary Stewart)

#3192.  Navarro (Tomorrow --- Death Cab For Cutie)

#3193.  Signalgate (Police State --- Agnostic Front)

#3194.  Flood (Blood --- Coheed & Cambria)

#3195.  Kristi Noem (Stay At Home --- Men At Work)

#3196.  Kristi Noem (Palindrome --- Azure Ray)

#3197.  Spread The Big Lie (Goodbye Blue Sky --- Pink Floyd)

#3198.  Pam Bondi (Hey Blondie --- Maggie Rose)

#3199.  Garrity (Clarity --- Jimmy Eat World)

#3200.  Cody Balmer (Jeffrey Dahmer --- Macabre)

#3201.  Cody Balmer (Jeffrey Dahmer --- Soulfly)

#3202.  We Are Trumpers (We Are Farmers --- Farmers Insurance slogan)

#3203.  Balmer (Bomber --- Motorhead)

#3204.  Twat From Hell: Cody Balmer (What's That Smell: Jeffrey Dahmer --- Macabre)

#3205.  JD Vance (Neutron Dance --- Pointer Sisters)

#3206.  Razin' Caine (Sugar Cane -- Slash: w/ Myles Kennedy and The Conspirators)

#3207.  Donald Trump Is Gay (One Big Holiday --- My Morning Jacket)

#3208.  Liberation (Isolation --- Kreator)

#3209.  Pete B. Hegseth Is Gay (Only One Breath Away --- Bad Boys Blue)

#3210.  Jake Lang (Chain Gang --- Sam Cooke)

#3211.  Signalgate (Separate --- Trampled By Turtles)

#3212.  Trump's Salad Got Tossed (Autonomy Lost --- Meshuggah)

#3213.  Cody Balmer (Laura Palmer --- Bastille)

#3214.  Donald's Liberation (Christmas Celebration)

#3215.  Bo Dietl Lies (The Needle Lies --- Queensryche)

#3216.  Pete Hegseth (Creeping Death --- Metallica)

#3217.  Measles Shit's A Mess (Weasels Ripped My Chest --- Frank Zappa)

#3218.  Liberation (Mutilation - Death)

#3219.  Pete (Meat --- Phish)

#3220.  Payne (Stain --- Lit)

#3221.  Senator Jake Lang (Back On The Chain Gang --- The Pretenders)

#3222.  Donald Trump (John Martyn --- Sugar Lump)

#3223.  John David Vance (Victory Dance --- My Morning Jacket)

#3224.  Patel (That Smell --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

#3225.  Piece Of Shit Donald Zeiders (Terrorist Suicide Hang Gliders --- Neil Young)

#3226.  Massapequa Long Island (Makisupa Policeman --- Phish)

#3227.  Coup's A Crime (Comes A Time --- Neil Young)

#3228.  Peter K. Navarro (Man Of Constant Sorrow)

#3229.  Peter K. Navarro (Beauty In The Sorrow --- Trivium)

#3230.  Kashyup (Fucked Up --- The Lemonheads)

#3231.  The U.N.'s Mike Waltz (The Blue Danube Waltz --- Johann Strauss)

#3232.  MAGA's JD Vance (Pomp And Circumstance --- Sir Edward Elgar) 

#3233.  Peter Navarro (Daughters Of Sorrow --- The New Pornographers)

#3234.  Evans The Liar (Heaven's On Fire --- Kiss)

#3235.  Pete Navarro (Size Of Sorrow --- Tears For Fears)

#3236.  The Deadly Sins Of Seven (The Magnificent Seven --- John Sturges)

#3237.  Paul Ryan (Orion --- Metallica)

#3238.  Ivanka (Tequila --- The Champs)

#3239.  Dumbfuck Cocksuck Billy Long (Punchdrunk Lovesick Singalong --- Radiohead)

#3240.  Donald's Gala Dinner (Let's Go Out To Dinner --- Phish)

#3241.  Donald's Gala Dinner (5-Piece Chicken Dinner --- Beastie Boys)

#3242.  Screw Billy Hollis Long (You Shook Me All Night Long --- AC/DC)

#3243.  Dave Perdue: Fuckin' Chicken Fried (Break On Through: To The Other Side --- The Doors)

#3244.  Whore Zach Nunn (War Begun --- My Morning Jacket)

#3245.  Ivanka (Panama --- Van Halen)

#3246.  John Ratcliffe's Ugly (Take A Whiff On Me --- The Byrds)

#3247.  Casey Means (Casey Jones --- Grateful Dead)

#3248.  The Sound Of Jimmies (The Sound Of Silence --- Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel)

Please do not share this material with yinzers who sprinkle jimmies on excrement and/or President Donald J. Trump.